Reposted from my June 2023 newsletter, edited for this platform.

To some of you, the field sketches this month might look familiar, as I just finished the Taft-Nicholson Art Residency and promptly set out for the east coast, all the while continuing to work on a large body of new work, which means less time in my sketchbook for now.

Brown bear sketching in Katmai National Park.

Most of you know that my experience with fear in Alaska has been centered around "what ifs". Mainly, what if I startle a bear? What if I surprise a moose?

I've read and watched many bear-saftey materials. I know how to use bear spray and I know to make noise while hiking. The latter goes against my principles but... safety first!

Mostly, I just can't seem to trust how I would respond IF a bear encounter should occur.

Most of you also know that, to deal with this, I've been using my field journal as a way to gently ease myself into being outdoors in Alaska, alone and still, something really difficult to do when you have to be bear- and moose-aware nearly all the time when outside within this state.

My approach has absolutely been helpful, but it hasn't fully released me from that "what if" fear.

A popular quote from John Muir, "The mountains are calling and I must go". I too must meet nature where it is to do my work. Indeed, my soul craves to be outdoors amongst the plants and animals.

Sometimes that means fairly remote or isolated locations like Alaska, or the Centennial Valley where I just completed an art residency.

Recently, a very provocative approach to overcoming a fear dropped into my inbox. It came from an unexpected source, a newsletter written for customers of a mushroom coffee company.

By describing fear in a way I hadn't understood before, the article made me realize I was "obeying" this fear, and the limitations that this had set for me.

How do they suggest confronting a fear? Through curiosity.

Naturally, fear causes an aversion to the “thing” that is causing fear. Clowns. Spiders. Confrontation. For me, it’s startling a bear.

Typically, you avoid at all costs situations involving your fear. But what if you treated fear with curiosity instead? What if, on the other side of it, there’s a learning experience full of excitement? Act in spite of the fear and the possibilities open up. According to the authors, you’re far more likely to gain a “situational benefit”. Undoubtedly, you’ll feel stronger for having faced it this way.

“Think of what a powerful notion that is, to believe that fear is fun and to use it to drive your curiosity rather than slow you down.”

What do you think? Does it open your mind to new possibilities? It created a sense of empowerment in mine, that's for sure. The last paragraph cinched it for me. Go back and read that one, let it sink in.

I can get behind curiosity. After all, it drives my work as an artist, writer, and naturalist.

*My study subject in Katmai National Park.*

Alaska, I'm coming back with a new attitude. Will I start hiking in the mountains and forests alone? No, that probably won't ever happen.

What I WILL do is start treating my fear of bears with a sense of curiosity, wanting to know what kind of situational benefits are in it for me.

I can imagine, but I want to know.

Let's Talk About Fear